Unbearable Lightness with her husband 1984“Dreams are like stars...you may never touch them, but if you follow them they will lead you to your destiny.”
~ Anonymous
Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday was actually on Sunday, but today marked the national observance of his birth. In years past this would have been a day for my husband and me to visit area schools together and talk to young people, respectively, about growing up black in the United States and growing up white in it. It was our schtick for most of the 1990s as an interracial, high profile couple.
He was a local celebrity. I was a longtime newspaper byline in Arts and Entertainment. We shared public address skills and a mission. Equality. I may have grown up white in a racist society, but I began to identify inequities by age four.
I happened to catch a documentary of King's life while I was cleaning and baking today. The clips from King's most famous speeches brought it all back - meeting my husband, falling in love, our first MLK Day speeches. You know how memory works. I could see the last school where we spoke together, an indelible view of the parking lot as I drove in to meet the love of my life: The waning afternoon sunlight of a wet and balmy January day. I remember the color of the bricks of the school and what I was wearing.
Today we experienced a similar January thaw, but I don't get asked to speak at schools any more. My husband got sick, and he died. I wondered today if I do enough to continue our fight. I wondered if he would still be proud of me.
King died before his dream was fulfilled, the documentary declared. The local news broadcast several tweets from viewers on the nightly news. Each tweet commented on racism today, and I shook my head in agreement to a tweet that included ageism and sexism among the problems with -isms today. Even though equality remains an ideal and not a reality, King accomplished a great deal. Maybe you would have to have lived before and after the Civil Rights movement to understand how much.
Nevertheless, one dream was fulfilled, and it was mine.
Do we measure our dreams by what we've lost of them or all that we've gained?
Do we measure our dreams by what we've lost of them or all that we've gained?
25 comments:
"I wondered if he would still be proud of me." - YES!!!!!!!
You may not be in the same arena but you still fight for what's right and equality in all it's forms.
"Do we measure our dreams by what we've lost of them or all that we've gained?"
Unfortunately in this adventure we call the life experience it's both.
D.L. Wood
Best wishes to you BOTH!
Aloha from Waikiki
Comfort Spiral
> < } } ( ° >
Thank you for the answers, D.L. Sometimes I don't have any.
The dream still is not realized, the fight still needed; that's what Occupy is all about! And yes, you fight in your own way a very important fight. In fact, I have begun to think of your work as a model as a civil-rights fight--for the natural, naked, erotic human body! Equal treatment for nude models! :)
Blessings.
Having grown up through the late sixties and seventies I can see the changes. Having gone through race riots in high school from forced desegregation I can see where many things are still the same today.
I remember going to town by bus with my mother. We would visit a few department stores then eat lunch at Woolworth's lunch counter. The same counter that would become a focal point of the civil rights movement. (As a five year old boy I simply loved their club sandwich.)
That spring the sit-ins continued along with the violence and curfews. There were instigators promoting violence by both sides.
Probably beginning in those days and through the next twelve years I came to understand from my parents that a man's status and worth was determined by his actions, not the color of his skin.
It was twelve years later when I experienced race riots in high school. Although I was "there" I can't tell you why they began. Most likely the racism and hatred spilled over from the parents and homes of those involved.
Although hundreds came from other schools in the area many of us were able to go about our business without trouble. Most likely due to our "upbringings". The bottom line is no matter how many laws, speeches and statues, ultimately it is the message in the home and daily lives that determine a person's susceptibility to 'isms.
CJ my friend, on this one there's no need for qualifiers, no ifs, no perhaps, no maybe, none of those. The answer to your question "...if I do enough..." is an unqualified yes.
I wasn't of legal age when Dr. King stepped forward to champion civil rights, but I understood his cause and supported it. As a matter of fact I use him for an example of a dreamweaver, the power a dreamweaver wields in the world of real life, the power to provide shape and definition to a dream carried by many people but beyond their ability to capture to memory where it can become the template for their efforts, the power to harness the common dream communicated to the task of turning the dream into a reality. Dr. King was among the greatest dreamweavers to ever walk the earth, he was. The proof of that is that his dream lives on, a living work of art still growing in the hearts of those he touched, and those they have touched in their turn.
Here on WWST you are actually carrying on his work even deeper within the human condition, the human heart. You are. Under the cover of artistic nudity you are so very often speaking to things that are not things of the body to be called nude, but rather the things of the heart to be called the art of the beautiful life set naked in its' essence. It is a dangerous realm, rarely opened, and you handle it well. You speak to the things which power the erotic, the forge of life, the thoughts and concepts that give sustenance and support to the dream so often resigned to be never more than a dream: the dream of humanity grown to the point it considers first the light rather than the shadows cast by the assumptions of the physical. It is a high dream CJ, high indeed, a dream and a goal I support. When that dream is achieved so many, many things will heal and be made whole.
As for your last question? I can't really say, I can't measure my dreams. As for the impact dreams have had on my life? There I'll answer with the closing verse from the poem Of Man and Muse...
Hers the ancient spirit lets suckle dreams unborn,
Nurtured as her children, a love to call her own.
Yet few who chance upon her will understand her worth,
How beauty fostered in the world rebukes the barren curse
Of those who muster only hate to try and rule the earth,
For fewer still are strong enough to stay within her heart
And share the labor of her love delivering new art.
So seek her at your peril, oh man born to the earth
For what she gives and what she takes
Sets small the Titan's work.
Even I would be proud of you!
"Equality remains an ideal,
not a reality"
Becomes reality when we delete
the racism from human life begins.
I am thinking that racism can not be deleted,
but you can avoid it be born in people.
Who is racist vents his anger on his mental ignorance.
Really a nice couple.
Un abbraccio sweet Carla
xxxooo
You are such a wise young man, my dear Lapenna Daniele! You know just what I meant. My own dream of equality became a reality when I discovered my soul mate in a man of African and Asian (Native American) race. What made the marriage so harmonious was the equality within it. Neither of us tried to change the other to fit our own ideals. It was the only relationship I've had in my life in which I was viewed just as I am and heard no complaints.
That is very, very rare.
No matter the color of our skin or the vast differences in the cultures from which we came, it was a balanced and complementary relationship.
A dream fulfilled. Yes, it was. We can leave prejudices behind and truly love one another. I know. I lived it.
Cyranos, I love your dreamweaver description of Mr. King. Indeed, he wove a dream for every one of us, but he did not get to live it. That was the shocking surprise in his Mountaintop speech. "I will not go with you," he said. He knew he was going to die. He had not planned to show up to march that time because of so many death threats, but he just had "to do God's will."
My ancestor William Tyndale left a journal that I've had the privilege to read. He knew he would also be killed - in his case because he was translating the Bible into English and pushing forward the Protestant Reformation to the common folk. His only concern was that he would not fulfill his dream and he was right - like King, he didn't reach the Mountaintop. He translated the Old Testament but not get to the New before they burned him at the stake.
The dream fulfilled falls to the individual successors of these dreamweavers. William's vision was that every ploughman, every farmer in the field, could read the Word of God. Because of him, they can - if they so choose. The St. James Bible is based on his translation.
Dreamweavers come along rarely. We sure could use one now!!! Yet, living the dream of equality is available to all of us and for less than the cost of our lives. It's clear you "get" this, too, and refuse to squander what we've collectively been given.
Your husband would definitely be proud of you. You are an amazing woman! Your whole reason for living is to fight for what is right, and that is clearly reflected in both your writing and your art.
BTW, I have always loved that photo. Your husband was an incredibly handsome man and you make a beautiful couple.
Rand-J, you remind me of our early innocence. In truth, no child is born racist. A friend brought his toddler granddaughter to our house, and she looked up at a painting of four children we had on our wall. She said, "Look, grandpa, babies like me!" She did not see a difference in their dark skin.
My small town was segregated even though I grew up in the North. Whites outnumbered those of color - including those from the local Native American tribe - in my school. I heard some racist things at school and in my home, and I rejected them. What you wrote just gave me an insight into the reason I would not give up my initial color blindness.
I have always been connected to my child. When we forget who we were from the beginning, when we allow the world to jade and change us and separate us from our core selves, we become corrupt and prejudiced.
Cyranos may be right. The fact I am comfortable with nude art, and beyond that, creating nude art, comes from the same place: A child's point of view.
I love your comments. I can SEE the stories you tell as though they unfold like mini-movies. That's a rare talent you have. Thank you for sharing it.
Jochanaan, I am beginning to see that protest in the comments on this post. Some days I just feel foolish about what I do and wonder why. It causes me so much grief. I hope my act of rebellion against the status quo does make a difference. And you're right. It is an issue of equality. That's what burns me up about "those bloggers" in that message from a well-paid writer. Whenever we scoff at a group of people, we create inequities. The money one person is paid vs. another person's pittance for doing the same work means nothing until those making more money begin to scoff.
Lin, I so appreciate your comment about my husband. His inner beauty shows in his physical form. He was tall and walked with grace. He was elegant and dignified, sensitive and intelligent. He was the most beautiful man I've ever known, and because I believed our love was right, I did indeed fight for it - and, believe me, I had to back in the early 1980s. You've got that right about me! I'm a fighter.
And It's a MERAVIGLIOSA thing.
"Neither of us tried to change the other to fit our own ideals"
WONDERFUL!
We must love without change the other.
I tell you, Carla,
I can not speak of "people of other nationalities."
For me we are all equal!
Why do we need to distinguish the origin?
When I went to the barber shop long ago, there were elderly men who spoke of "burn all foreign immigrants."
That's right. BURN.
Because we believe people better than others?
Although we Italians are immigrants to the U.S..
Here we have created restaurants, families, but we also brought
the Mafia.
The good and evil.
But now dear friend, I wonder more than racism.
I just see people who judge without knowing a person. And that says it all about how we live personal relationships.
Your husband will certainly lying emotions in your heart that one can never erase. And this thing will live forever!
baci bacioni
It is indeed a wonderful thing to be accepted for who you are, no questions asked, no fee required :-)
Jealousy and covetousness are human qualities that bring out the beast, not the spiritual, in people. When we think someone may be getting something we want or taking what we have or after the same thing but getting more of it, we turn into monsters. It is not pretty.
Fear. King nailed it when he said, "Tonight I am not fearing any man" in his Mountaintop speech. That is the only freedom we have in this life, not to fear. The rest comes down like manna from heaven when we stop being afraid of other people.
It's not easy. We fight human nature, which gives us the instinct to fear. It's something I battle, too.
it's nice to see a picture of you both.....such a nice couple. a wonderful post
"The fact I am comfortable with nude art, and beyond that, creating nude art, comes from the same place: A child's point of view."
My dear lady, that is a tremendous insight. When I am naked, even naked in company--and when I play music or write a poem--I am deeply in touch with that child. He is not rude, scornful or fearful; he loves anyone who loves him; his inner being goes "Wow!" at a sunset or a musical tone or a beautiful human, and he sees every woman as beautiful (and the adult part of him is especially drawn to women); and he is fear-free, freely opening up his deepest heart to virtual strangers. He is never afraid to ask questions, and never satisfied with conventional answers. I feel that this is why I so readily accepted nudism, this tie with my child-self. And in your pictures and your writing, I see that you also keep your child-self alive and close.
"Bless The Child."
My deep respect for you two.
Thank you so much, Vince and Robert. It's such thoughtful comments that keep me going!
Well said, Jochanaan. What could I possibly add except a chorus: "God Bless the Child!"
What you two did then, helped change the world, even if it only impacted a few people at a time.
There is that 'special something' about you, you can teach. And unlike many others, you get through to people. Sometimes, I know it's hard to see yourself as leaving such an impact, but you aren't someone who is easily forgettable. And I highly doubt that one could forget the both of you.
As for him being proud, he is.
He loved you & you loved him, together you had a life that was truly yours; truly wonderful. He's no longer here on the planet, but that doesn't mean he isn't in your heart or in your mind. You still teach. You still change lives. You still leave impressions. You still break boundaries. He is still proud.
Awww, sweetheart, that's the most beautiful comment. You have no idea how I needed that today! I felt so sad on Monday, and today I had people down my throat about daring to crossover categories in dA group moderation!!
I'm glad I could make you smile. :)
You are always going to be someone who changes the world. It's just who you are. Everyone who has known you, knows you and loves you should be proud of you for that.
I love you. xxoo
I love you, too. I wish I were just driving to the airport to pick you up. There was a beautiful sunset tonight!
Awww! I'll be back soon enough!
Trust me, I'm with you on that thought though. I'd love it if you were just picking me up from the airport now!
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